When you’re battling

The trouble is, we look at each others’ social media feeds and have very little idea of the real stuff going on behind the scenes. It looks like everyone else is sailing through life, when the reality might be far splashier.

Here are some of the things I remind myself when I’m going through sticky patches…

This too shall pass

I always joke that I’ve been on and off anti-depressants over the years like a kiddy on a roundabout. But I’ve never felt any shame in treating an illness, you know?

What I have found from my years of experience with mental health struggles – take it from Grandma! – is that the sun does always come back out eventually.

New life and growth is inevitable

When I feel stuck or like life has got a bit ‘Groundhog Day’, I remind myself that nothing stays the same for very long.

Things do shift: situations improve and problems eventually resolve.

As with daffodils, beautiful things can spring from unlikely places!

Your ability to feel things might also be your strength

I remember my Dad suggesting a way for me to handle the soul-destroying criticism I faced at Art College:

“Water off a duck’s back, love – that’s what it needs to be.”

But I never mastered the whole ‘duck’s back’ thing. That water seemed to permeate and sink into my very core – I felt every harsh word intensely.

But I realise now that being vulnerable is part of being the me that I’ve been made to be.

I’m a feeler, a creative, and I’m prone to the blues; it’s who I am and it’s okay.

Choosing gratitude helps

I was walking up the hill in the rain earlier on today, feeling pretty fed up.

The printers had been closed so I couldn’t print out my new kit, and I was already slap-bang in the middle of a challenging week, so my spirits were flagging.

But I decided to battle the slump with positivity.

“Thank you that I have legs to walk up this hill,” I began.

It sounds daft, but after a few more statements, I did manage to shift my feelings out of the driving seat!

Be gentle with you

Okay, so today didn’t go as planned. And yesterday didn’t either. In fact, the whole month has been a bit of a hot mess.

When we go through low patches, it’s as if we lose our elasticity. Life knocks us down to the extent that it doesn’t take much to send that brittle version of us over the edge.

We need to give ourselves so much more grace! We need to talk to ourselves as gently as if we were encouraging a child and remember that there’s always another tomorrow in which to have another go.

“Morning by morning, new mercies I see.”

It’s okay – even if it’s not

It’s my favourite Rob Bell quote and there have been times when I’ve needed to remind myself of it.

When you fear a bad health test result or when something really upsetting has happened. When it feels like the bottom has fallen out of your world and you’re not sure where to go with your feelings, it’s all so raw.

We have a God who promises to never leave nor forsake us. A God who promises a Heavenly home for his beloved kids when we leave this earth. Even the end isn’t the end with Him.

We have a God who promises to walk with us through the very darkest valley: it’s okay: even if it’s not.

My favourite podcast listen when things are truly overwhelming is here.

14 thoughts on “When you’re battling

  1. You are so brave and honest. I think the more we talk about our struggles the more real we become and more accessible instead of hiding behind the perfect social media life. I’ve found gratitude often helps me to put one step in front of the other. Your sensitivity is part of who you are and out of it comes this immense creativity. Grace upon grace.

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  2. Ah, what a lovely thing to say, I am so touched, thank you!

    You know, I find it so easy to open up and be totally honest and feel fine about posting in the moment, then get these dreadful ‘shame hangovers’ later on! I think a lot of content creators must feel the same way.

    But I think of my blog as a bit of a “Here’s what I’ve learnt” that Kitty might like to sneak a look at one day… it might be a cooler way to get advice from your mum than the excruciating embarrassment of actually talking to her, lol πŸ˜‰

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  3. Ahh it’s like you wrote this for me! I currently have an unruly case of the blahs and while it has left me feeling so low and permanently stuck where I am, I know it’ll pass. Because it always does, I just have to give it some time. But it always feels like “the end” when you’re in the midst of it. I did find swatching watercolors and ranting about things (as per my recent YT video) quite cathartic and the act of actually hitting “publish” a bit liberating. I feel like it was a totally different side of me to share but maybe she needs to make a public social appearance once in a while. XD

    It’s just a weird headspace to be in and you’d think I’d be used to it by now. But I don’t think we’ll ever get used to the noise in our heads! I watched this video yesterday of Captain America, Chris Evans, talking about “shushing” the noise in his head. He literally said “shush!” to it and I feel like I should start shushing the noise in my own head. Cause sometimes that’s all it is, a headspace thing.

    Thinking it over I’m sure my case of the blahs has to do with other factors (that I haven’t quite indulged socially yet), but this was a very good reminder of giving myself grace and that it will be okay even if I don’t particularly feel okay. Thanks for these reminders Suse. You’re a gem! xxx

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  4. Ah, you’re welcome lovely girl. I think it’s an issue for a lot of us, but it’s one of those things that can be hard to bring up, for some reason.

    On a separate note, could I send you some ‘interview’ questions for a blog post on getting a lovely Instagram feed? I basically want to steal your style, but am going to pretend it’s information I want to share with everyone, lol πŸ˜‰


  5. Ah, you’re so welcome, lovely girl. I did watch your video and as I’ve been in a similar spot myself for these past few weeks – like you, reasons I can’t go into – I suddenly felt that I wanted to remind myself of how to cope when the waves threaten to overwhelm like that.

    So in a lot of ways, you did actually inspire the post, but I wanted to write down a reminder for myself… kind of putting a life-raft in place for the future me (or Kitty, if she ever reads my blog when she’s older)

    I think showing up just as we are can be so useful… letting our colours show. We so often save the ‘best us’ for our online appearances, but it can be good to show up and say, “this is me right now – like it or not.”

    That’s kind of how I felt posting that photo of me ‘looking my years’ (ahem) in the post! It’s not the most flattering, but it is how I look these days – wrinkly neck and all! πŸ˜‰

    I hope you feel able to share your ‘other factors’, if and when the time feels right. I’ve not shared every detail about my life publicly, but am always happy to when the mutual trust is there. But for me, there’s also a wisdom in not sharing every detail … so it needs to feel right for you, I think.

    Sending you so so much love as you push through this denser spot… keep looking for the light and know that you always have friends here who care about you very much. xxx


  6. I can’t tell which of your comments is the reply to mine with the way it shows up on my screen. But if you meant sending me questions- yes! πŸ’ž My email is Laura.rahel.crosby@hotmail.com . if you meant one of the other lovely women who commented, I don’t know their email addresses but hopefully they comment back with it for ya! haha πŸ˜ŠπŸ’›

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  7. Lor

    Dear generous, brave girl, Thank you for your post today. It has helped me to gain more insight into a special someone in my life, the water off a duck’s back is an incredible message. For her, it is the same as you explained and not something she could have expressed in this way. I have always thought that our perceived greatest weaknesses are also our greatest strengths and the way you put that whole paragraph about feeling things deeply and being vulnerable as being a strength was super helpful.

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  8. chocs1976

    I had a “hot mess” month last month,I was emotional and exhausted but I have come through the other side of it. Hopefully I have learned some things because of it. I need to practice not feeling guilty if I need to just simply do nothing but knit or sew or read or watch Netflix in order to reboot. I need to speak kindly to myself and enjoy the simple things, the new shoots in the garden the buds and blooms, the host of cheeky birds on my feeder (they actualy bring me such joy) on a lower day. The crafting of something beautiful (to me) for my home, a snuggle with Bruff my bright eyed old girl. I need to take the pressure off myself for a short while.

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  9. Aw love, that sounds pretty rough 😦 Poor you, going through that sticky patch. Life can be tough sometimes but it does sound like you’ve got just the right ideas for getting through the darker spots – puppy cuddles are always especially good! xxx


  10. Oh, definitely you Miss Crosby! Your feed is my absolute favourite of any I’ve ever seen and I need to steal your secret sauce! πŸ˜‰ That’s fab – I’ll email them over to you – feel free to answer as many or as few as feels comfortable (I tend to ask tricky questions sometimes, ha ha!) xxx


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