Why it’s okay to unfollow

I’m all over the place with social media – on facebook, off facebook; posting flurries of photos to Instagram and then nothing; following all the blogs and then only a handful – but I’m okay with that.

Because I’ve come to realise that this crazy-looking path is just me finding my way.

What feels like a good fit for me one day, might not sit right with me the next.

And that’s perfectly okay.

In some phases of life, seeing all the pretty projects online is a total delight and I’m all over them with effusive love hearts. But in another, those same beautiful images can have the power to drag my spirits down into a pit of, “…guh, if only.”

Pay attention: some days, you can literally feel it happening.

Some days I’m genuinely thrilled to see the new Design Teams – all that fresh talent, so delighted to have made their dream team, setting off on their latest crafting adventures!

But on others, it feels like not getting picked for netball all over again – even when it wasn’t actually your dream.

What I’m learning, is that it’s okay to keep redefining the boundaries of what works for me.

It’s okay to change things up according to how I’m doing, because life really is too short to fill my days – and my feeds – with anything but the positivity and beauty that brings me more alive than before.

And as a creative, I need to be okay with my numbers dropping off because my posting reflects my real, right-now life.

I’ve been in that place of ‘performance posting’: coming up with the impressive projects in order to please and I refuse to play that game again.

It’s tiring and confining: a self-constructed box, lined with disproportionate concerns of expectations and likes. Making only what you know people want to see, putting in hours of effort to reap the (pretty much meaningless) rewards.

I’m just not rushing to crawl back there, you know?

For me, it’s about deciding to ‘dance as if no one’s watching’.

If folks want to read my blog or follow my photo feed, lovely, but if not? That’s perfectly okay with me too.

Because I’m assuming that no one will be too bothered if I’m not watching them all that closely either.

For me, it’s never about a lack of care or interest. It’s never about dislike or envy or anything even remotely personal.

Rather it’s a step towards showing care for this lassie right here: the one working to get to the end of the day with her self-esteem and morale balance kept firmly in the black.

10 thoughts on “Why it’s okay to unfollow

  1. Julie

    I am totally with you. I have, again, recently unfollowed a bunch of feeds on Instagram. Please note, feeds not people. It’s not personal – well, it’s totally personal actually! It’s about me, how I’m feeling about them. I carelessly follow when I see a single post referred to on another feed. It’s not that I’m moved especially to follow so unfollowing is equally unemotional. As you say, sometimes I find all the pretty things inspiring. Other times, like now, I feel myself descending into frustration and envy. Maybe it’s that we are heading into Autumn and I feel Winter with cold and short days looming. Maybe it’s that I feel engulfed with ennui and lack the energy to create anything. For whatever reason this is when I unfollow. It’s truly me, not you.

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  2. You’re doing so well… and I really appreciate your blog posts 🙂
    Currently, I’m applying the Konmari method to all my subscriptions on YouTube, Instagram and Bloglovin: Do I love this, does it “spark joy”?
    If the immediate answer is not YES regarding the last 5 posts, I’ll unsubscribe. (No offense to those people).
    My feed gets better and better 😉

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  3. Yes, absolutely! We can put so much effort into self care in other areas, but if we’re not looking at what we’re ingesting online, we’re really not helping ourselves all that much.

    Sounds like you have this nailed, Conni! xx

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  4. Yes, yes yes! Could not agree with your feelings more, Julie.

    It all depends on how we’re doing and what we feel able to handle at particular times. For me, the online following thing is never an indication of who I do – and don’t – want to be friends with 🙂 xx

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  5. This all makes perfect sense to me and I think you have to be careful about who you follow and how it makes you feel – if it’s not helping you and is actually making you feel negative, then it’s not for you.

    I have a bit of a weird way of dealing with it. I have two Instagrams – oh la la. One feed I don’t care about the layout and how my little squares look, I upload anything and I follow anything and anyone I fancy – mainly people with fabulous lifestyles who take beautiful photos. If I’m having a bad day, I don’t look at that feed, it just makes me feel like I’m not enough and so I use my other Instagram where I only follow feeds/people who share my creative passions and who don’t make me feel negative thoughts and only make me feel inspired and happy.

    Works for me and my scattered mind 🙂

    x

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  6. Gosh! What a genius idea, Danielle! I can really see how that might work.

    I take a bit of a similar approach with my podcast listening: I have some shows that I can listen to at any point because they’re so down to earth and comforting, and others where I need to have slightly better self-esteem because the hosts seem so together!

    We are funny creatures, aren’t we? but hey: we’re making it all work for us! xxx

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  7. chocs1976

    I am like this too Suse.There are days where every artist has wonderful new work to look at, a feast for the eyes, and yet the next day I could be feeling totally different, and on those days I know if I start browsing, the comparison pixie shows his little face.
    I don’t think about followers very often and I post as and when I feel like it. There is no pressure that way. Although I am aware on occasion that I haven’t posted anything for days or weeks even.

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  8. Yes, definitely… I think we sensitive artistic sorts are especially vulnerable to this. We have harsh inner critics and are quick to assume that everyone else is finding it very easy!

    I love the idea of not posting, but find sharing and creating so much fun, that I’ve often got about a weeks’ worth waiting in the wings, lol xx

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  9. YES to all of this! I’ve been feeling the need to KonMari my feeds lately. Mostly minimize who I follow on IG and what blogs I read, and only follow those that really truly inspire me. I feel like 300+ people I follow is too much and to be fair, I don’t see half of those posts anyway, esp. on IG. I just need to take a day and really look through my feed (or delete them all and add the special ones back?) IDK but it’s that time I think to simplify.

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