I’m all over the place with social media – on facebook, off facebook; posting flurries of photos to Instagram and then nothing; following all the blogs and then only a handful – but I’m okay with that.
Because I’ve come to realise that this crazy-looking path is just me finding my way.
In some phases of life, seeing all the pretty projects online is a total delight and I’m all over them with effusive love hearts. But in another, those same beautiful images can have the power to drag my spirits down into a pit of, “…guh, if only.”
Pay attention: some days, you can literally feel it happening.
Some days I’m genuinely thrilled to see the new Design Teams – all that fresh talent, so delighted to have made their dream team, setting off on their latest crafting adventures!
But on others, it feels like not getting picked for netball all over again – even when it wasn’t actually your dream.
What I’m learning, is that it’s okay to keep redefining the boundaries of what works for me.
It’s okay to change things up according to how I’m doing, because life really is too short to fill my days – and my feeds – with anything but the positivity and beauty that brings me more alive than before.
And as a creative, I need to be okay with my numbers dropping off because my posting reflects my real, right-now life.
I’ve been in that place of ‘performance posting’: coming up with the impressive projects in order to please and I refuse to play that game again.
It’s tiring and confining: a self-constructed box, lined with disproportionate concerns of expectations and likes. Making only what you know people want to see, putting in hours of effort to reap the (pretty much meaningless) rewards.
I’m just not rushing to crawl back there, you know?
For me, it’s about deciding to ‘dance as if no one’s watching’.
If folks want to read my blog or follow my photo feed, lovely, but if not? That’s perfectly okay with me too.
Because I’m assuming that no one will be too bothered if I’m not watching them all that closely either.
For me, it’s never about a lack of care or interest. It’s never about dislike or envy or anything even remotely personal.
Rather it’s a step towards showing care for this lassie right here: the one working to get to the end of the day with her self-esteem and morale balance kept firmly in the black.