I’ve been a Ministry Missus for well over a year now. Here’s what I’ve discovered…
I miss having my own home desperately. We’re in a knock-out, utterly gorgeous executive home/manse, and yet this issue still rears it’s head on a regular basis for me.
I just liked being in my own little home and have to remind myself regularly,
“Drop anchor: you need to drop anchor. This is home now.”
We have been stationed in heaven, and for that gentle start in ministry life, I will be forever grateful.
That said, the fact that we can’t stay here for more than a few years sometimes threatens to rob me of the joy of being here… (yes: I live in my head way too much!)
When we started here, I tried to posh-up for church. It wasn’t me, anymore than my attempts at being a Sunday School teacher were.
These days, I wear my scruffy jeans ‘uniform’ and feel a lot more authentic that way.
You hear people in ministry say how they didn’t marry a minister, and I get that whole deal now.
I married a school teacher and although this life and role impact me hugely, I’m careful that ministry doesn’t become my job, whatever expectations others may or may not have of me.
I learnt quickly that my job is to be a wife, mother and homemaker – and that’s it.
The enemy has stepped up his attacks significantly since we became a ministry family. I won’t go into the creepy details, but it’s been quite the eye-opener for both of us.
In response, we have stepped up our spiritual game, putting practises into place that serve as defence moves – time together and prayer being the main ones.
Before we set off on this adventure, I bargained with God that I would be happy to go into itinerant ministry, as long as Kitty was happy, settled and safe.
She’s been all of the above from day one, which fills me with so much joy.
As an introvert, I figured out very quickly that I can’t do all the things. I’d like to be the minister’s wife who attends all the events, bakes all the cakes and visits all the people, but I’m just not made that way.
Me-time has always been absolutely essential for me, so I’ve been ‘prayerfully picky’ about deciding what to commit to.
Living in a manse is odd. I have made a big effort to make it feel like home, but it’s also my husband’s place of work and is owned by the church.
It’s a little like having a really nice landlord who you know won’t kick you out, but would still like you to keep on top of cleaning the oven.
It can be easy to lose sight of who I am and the things that make me-me, amongst all the expectations of godliness that I have for myself (and fear others might have of me).
I constantly remind myself that I am who God made me to be – and He delights in me being fully me.
Other minister’s wives are a godsend. Seriously: God-sent!
They just get it and are about the only people I’ve found I can be entirely honest with about the realities of ministry life.
They don’t have expectations, they know exactly what it’s like and have been, for me, a very precious ‘safe place to fall’.