I’m taking some time during the run up to Christmas to read and reflect on Holley Gerth’s lovely devotional, “Do You Know You’re Already Amazing?”
Without giving away the content of the book, here’s the first post of a few thoughts I’d like to share – today thinking about the chapter, “You’re not Invisible.”
I think for me, it always comes back to that black and white grid of smiling faces – the lucky ones who made the team, the ones who got picked.
Because that’s such an honour, isn’t it? To have someone outside of you, who you respect enormously, look at your work and say, “You’re good at this: I want you and your creativity to come and work for me.”
And I personally find it hard to push against that urge to compare: to see how many followers she’s got, or how many hits her videos get and how quickly.
Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to be honest about my motivations for creating.
Because while there are times when I’ve just got to play, there are plenty of other times where I know full-well I’m taking this photo to put out there because I want to be seen, because I want to show up and have my voice heard too.
It can be tempting to put ‘me’ out there loads more than I’m resting. The balance can so quickly get thrown off.
I felt a while back that there were a few things I needed to remember in this creative thing of mine. But I *so* easily lose sight of them. Here they are:
* That my face is on the Team Grid of my Father
* That my job is to throw my stone into the pond and walk away, not worrying about the size of the ripples that are created
* That there’s a battle to be fought: a battle for souls, for balance and for ‘enough’, and that I’m a warrior in that battle
* That God has a race set for me: how anyone else runs their race is not my concern
So I’m left thinking of those glamorous grids and praying for forgiveness for my jealousy and envy of the pretty faces on them.
I’m left sitting quietly in my chair with my channel resting too – because there’s a season for all things and now is the season to breath and be breathed into.
And I’m left re-securing the blinkers I need to wear in order to stop with all the comparison and worldly ambition that’s not in line with the direction I sense Him whispering me to follow.
The simple path of bringing the little loaves and fish offering of my everyday life, the supplies I already have and the slightly off-the-wall creative style I’ve been given, and just letting Him use it.
However He will.